Look at that
shit! That's a bunch of people having fun, that's what that is.
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| Google Images |
Ah, graduation. That time of the year again where people of all genders and ages wear a sleeping blanket to go up on stage and receive a roll of toilet paper from an old squat who they will never meet again in their lives. The time when you are finally certified as a graduate, an alumni, and last but not least, unemployed.
You see,
there’s something undeniably mundane about graduations. It’s lauded as this
ceremony of ceremonies and it’s just chock full of protocol. But all that is
just for a scroll and a stage time of 5 seconds!
What I don’t
get, and I have said this time, and time again to all of my friends, is why the
graduates themselves, invite so many people to watch them go on stage for that
5 seconds. You must not like those people very much! Because if you do, you
wouldn’t force them to go through 3 hours of flack just to wake up in time for
your moment of fame. I wouldn’t. I would compare it to bringing a whole envoy
to school when it was time to get your SPM certificates. It’s essentially a
plea for attention saying “Please celebrate me, this might be the last time
I’ll be happy”.
“Join me at
my happiest moments as I graduate!” Bollocks! That was, quote by quote, the
invite I got on Facebook. Now I have talked to many adults, and guess what the
happiest moments of their lives are? Well I can tell you outright, it’s not
graduation. Yes, some people love their alma mater, some of them have
sentimental memories there so on and so forth, but nobody remembers being so
sleepy in the hall through the speeches, going up on stage for 5 seconds,
shaking hands with a chancellor or pro chancellor you have never met in your
life or will ever influence any aspect of your lives from then on ever again
and finally exiting the hall to a sweltering, proper Malaysian afternoon, all
of this, with that hideous sleeping blanket on your back (with the exception of
UTM graduates. I have seen the UTM graduation robes. They’re awesome as f*ck).
Does this
mean that as you are my friend by proxy, I am obligated to be there for EVERY
SINGLE HAPPY MOMENT YOU HAVE IN LIFE FROM THEN ON? Getting married, boom!
Obligated to be there. Having sex, boom! Obligated to be there. Delivering your
baby, boom! Obligated to be there again. So on and so forth. Where do we draw
the line? Do I have to come to your kid’s convocation too? Don’t tell me that
won’t be the happiest bit of your life either, that’s just nonsense.
All of this
got me thinking. If and when I graduate, it’s just going to be me mum and dad
in that hall with me. And no, it’s not because I hate them and I want them to
suffer through the speeches and whatnot, no. It’s because if they can force me
to go through 4 years of my life in this bloody university facing books for a
better future, then a boring 3 hour-long lecture sounds like just the right
payback for that. Oh, that and having a live view of their return of investment
bit. Yeah, that’ll be my official reason.
=)
Finally,
I'll end this bit of rant with this awesome video of some of the convocation
graduates letting their hair down. If only more people had balls to do this.